Over the last year I have experienced some good and bad times. As most of you know I stepped out of my comfort zone in ATL to move to Hinesville, GA (I know...I know) to be with the MAN (and I use this term very lightly) I loved and thought loved me. We were to be married, but as you know things did not quite work out as planned. I could not see myself being with a man that claims to love me, doing all the right things on the surface and at the same time feeling too insecure inside himself to take the journey in life that we planned together because... as he put it...I am a woman that "can do it all for herself". His insecurities soon started to rub off on me. Making me for a brief moment in time doubt myself...am I too independent? can I just fall back and let him feel like a man by not doing what my Mother raised me to do all by myself (TAKE CARE OF ME)? Soon it became clear that I am far too FABULOUS to settle in a relationship not to mention a marriage with a person that needs me to become less of a woman to make him feel or appear to more of a man. So I had to let that relationship as well as the ring go and move on with my life even if he could not.
All of this left me with questions of what's next. Of course I started out swearing off all men. But a close friend, and ex-boyfriend, told me it took God to bring me over 300 miles from home, and a moment of pain to realize that the man I selected for me was not the one he has planned for Z.
So in the meantime, I did my thing...Wilded out a little (not too much...u know the love of my life (AH'SHAIYAH) still needs me! But with the help of GOD and my love for me ...life has taken a turn. As most of my close friends and family members know I have been moved to make a change in my life. So when I read this story I identified with it 100%, because it was in church ...listening to a similar sermon that helped realize that my life needs to be re-evaluated.
TITLE: BEING LONELY, SINGLE AND UNMARRIED
A pastor was doing a sermon to the congregation targeting singles.. He said many churches do not target the single people in the church, they simply target things designed for families or married couples. He went on to say that Lonely people end up in marriages because they settle for something that God did not ordain. Every one that marries or end up in a marriage was not meant to be married to that specific person, but since people choose mates for themselves instead of waiting for God to send them one, they end up miserable and lonely in the marriage; longing to be single again.
He then said, until God gives you your spouse, be content. God has placed you exactly where you are meant to be. Do not marry because all of your friends are married and they are questioning you why you are still single. You are single because God is not ready for you be married.
Married people, do not look for mates for your single friends; don't play match maker, you are not God. Parents stop making your children feel guilty because they are not married. Yes you may have raised them into the world, but God has created them so therefore he knows who is perfect for them.
Being lonely is hard, but being lonely only takes up a small part of your life. The rest of your life is filled engaging in other activities.
"One Friday, a member of the congregation brought a letter in that he found at home. He said "Pastor my wife wrote me a letter and told me she was leaving me because she wasn't happy, but I have no idea when she wrote the letter or even left, it was some time between Monday and Friday but I was too busy with work, the kids and chores to notice."
Examples such as this is an example of a marriage that was probably never meant to happen. Some people marry because they don't want to be left out of the bunch; they are lonely and looking for anyone to feel that void; all of there associates are married. Society seems to cater to the couple image. Some times one person is in love and the other person isn't but marries anyways and then years later, it's a messy horrible divorce.
God could also be holding your wife or husband back because he is trying to get your attention to do what he has design you to do. How can you choose a wife or husband for yourself and you don't even know what God has placed you on this earth for.
So what you should do. Use this time to get closer to God. I have noticed that single people come to church early, go to bible study, attend both services in the church and then even volunteer with the children. Married people cant do this. There primary concern is the family, the bills, the household, the chores. Stress, stress and more stress. Do not marry unless God has given you your spouse. Can you imagine being married and
having all of those additional items of concern and being miserable. It's an awful way to live.
God has a plan for you. Use this time to be content in what he has given you at this moment in your life. Focus on him and he will open up things of clarity so you will see his path. When he has perfected you, he will send you your spouse if that's what you desire. Until then, be patient and just enjoy your life. The things you may long for so bad, may come with a heavy price. Just be patient and waiting for God .
That's all I can remember.. But I thought it was a great message.
