Of course three dates by no means makes me an expert on dating...but I have realized that I’m not in my early twenties anymore. It’s confusing because I always thought that dating was about seeing if you enjoy each other’s company. I used to believe if you get along...the rest will fall into place....
But then again, I suppose I’ve never really dated. Instead, my philosophy has me falling into long term relationships very easily. When I was in my teens and early twenties I didn’t need to know if the man I was dating has a gambling problem, if he’s still married, or if he has kids or a mother who still looms over every aspect of his life. Without all the land mines it’s so much easier to allow yourself to fall in love.
Goodness! I sound so jaded. I’m not. I’m open to finding someone to share my life with. It’s just that I’m also happy being alone. (I am alone...not lonely - there is a difference).
I’d be in bliss if I could find a relationship where each little act of random kindness goes noticed with a punctuated kiss or hug...and is reciprocated often.
My idea of an ideal relationship would be a cocoon of fearless love and open communication.
But too often I have been the life-raft for someone who is still drowning in the past.
Bottom Line: I’m a ship w/out an anchor, the sea is wide and long and I’m enjoying the solo voyage.
It’s been years since I was ’available’ and the thought makes me feel like a kid in a candy store! I really hope I’m not too old for candy.
I’ve never been married. I’m over my ex. I have no kids. And ... well, the baggage is minimal - possibly non-existent. My memory is too sporadic to dwell on past wrongs too long. Besides, life is cyclical. Anytime something ends, something else begins.
I’m not looking for perfect. I’m not pulling away from the idea of love. But I’ve never drawn lines in the sand before. How do I know I’ve found my match if I’m still working from a decade old check-list? I’m losing hope. The candy seems to have already been chewed.
Are my priorities screwed up or am I just geographically and chronologically challenged?
